The Tales of Sprixx. Shield Bearer.

Go down

The Tales of Sprixx. Shield Bearer. Empty The Tales of Sprixx. Shield Bearer.

Post  Sprixx on Sat Sep 25, 2010 8:17 pm

This is my first real attempt at writing something like this. Think of it of a rough draft, please offer opinions! Very Happy
Chapter 1: Origans of the Shield:

A young Edgar Drakenmore was born in Goldshire to the happy couple of Lara, and Jimma, both humans. This was not a normal family by any means, They were incredibly wealthy. Edgar grew up with brother Zale, and adopted sister Chrisa. They had a good upbringing, however it seemed as if their parents cared more about their gold and gems more then their children, all the mattered was business and their own personal image. At a young aga, Edgar decided to join the Stormwind military, as a guard. He showed great skill wielding a sword, and most weapons, thus he was dubbed a warrior. He was trained by some of the best Stormwind had to offer. One day, after a long time in being in service to the military, the sargeant of his unit approached him with a grim look. He told him that he is being removed from the guard force. He tried to argue but the sergeant wouldn't take him back. He found out from his parents that they paid the sergeant to take him out. He was told "Our family name is associated with nobility, and high status. We cant have you soiling our good name!". He didn't like this, but he cared about his family and let things go on as is. The Drakenmore had then planned for them to move to Ironforge to make some business dealings with the Dwarves and Gnomes. While they're, he met his current best friend, Rinsu, a Gnome. He also met a Gnomish warrior, a very good one at that. He revered this Gnome as possibly the best warrior he'd ever seen. This Gnome's name was Sprixx, he trained him. After years of training Edgar was almost finished Sprixx's training, and was ready to go onto advanced swordsmanship, and use of the shield. Before he could finish this though, Sprixx was called to the line of duty, to battle for Gnomeragan. He didn't return, not many did. This was a horrible tragedy, and Edgar was torn apart by this. Then it happened. Edgar's parents came to him to tell him that they are moving again, to Stormwind again. He tried to get them to change their mind. They said "Is this insulence because of that propaganda spreading Gnome!? He's scum! How dare you disobey us for that dam warrior!" Edgar snapped, he decided that he wouldn't stand for it any more. Holding his masters former sword, and his shield he said: "How are you!? I am done... Done with this family! I renounce my family name and take on my masters name in his honor, and will bring honor to his name. I am Sprixx... Warrior. Edgar Drakenmore means nothing to me now!". His siblings tried to ask him to stay but he wouldn't hear it. He said his final good-bye's before walking out of the Ironforge gate, and thus started his journeys through endless plains, time, and space. Now known as Sprixx, he trains in the art of definsive fighting.


Posts : 2
Join date : 2010-09-25
Age : 28

View user profile

Back to top Go down

The Tales of Sprixx. Shield Bearer. Empty Re: The Tales of Sprixx. Shield Bearer.

Post  Laratha on Mon Sep 27, 2010 7:31 am

This is a really good start. I like the story behind it a lot, my only recommendation is of course to break it down into smaller paragraphs. Walls of text make it hard to read. As you said though its a rough draft, and so those sorts of things I'm sure you'll work out.

Keep up the good work!


Posts : 4
Join date : 2010-08-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Back to top

- Similar topics

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum